Your child is my favorite.
Not because he is the best behaved. Not because he pays attention. Not because he is the smartest. Definitely not because he is the most respectful and kind.
But he is my favorite.
He is my favorite because the world has deemed him unlovable, which means that he needs my love the most.
I know this because the world deemed me unlovable once too. I was once the person that everyone just passed on. “We cannot help her.” They said as they closed the church door in my face. “She is far beyond ever turning around.” I heard. “She will never make it.”
I believed their lies for far too long. However, I can tell you that there were a few people that saw me for what I truly was…lovable. Those few people choosing to see past my junk are the ones who have gotten me to where I am today.
As for your child, I may not always see it for myself but God sees it for me. He is lovable, and I intend to show him that even if I never see the positive change. I intend to love your child with every fiber of my being. I already love him so much that it hurts. I cry because of your child, because I know that I cannot force him to see his worth. But I can show him how much he means to me, and to his Heavenly Father.
Your Child’s 6th Grade Teacher
**I was inspired to write this post because tonight I was sitting on the steps of the church while a friend had praise team practice. My student who is mentioned in this post is currently staying in a compound right behind the church while the orphanage gets work done on it. I was praying and thinking when all of a sudden I looked over my right shoulder and there he was. Playing in the garden. I broke down and started crying. The only thing that made me stop talking was my tears, but as soon as I stopped talking the Lord had silence to speak. I heard Him say, “Remember daughter, you were once deemed unlovable by many as well. But there were some that did not give up on you. I gave you that love so that you too may love the unlovable one day. That day is today. Love him.” So…here is your dose of truth friends. The battle between my soul and my flesh has not been more apparent to me in my whole life. I do not want to be here. I do not want to stay! I want to go home and hold my babies. I want to hug my family and friends. I want to partake in a bonfire, wear a freaking hoodie. But God wants me to stay, whether or not I want to. I have to stay. So please support me in that.
I just have one request…please do not remind me how much you miss me. Because believe me, I know you miss me. I miss you too! But the more reminders I have of everyone that misses me the more I want to go home.
As far as prayer requests go…
- There seems to be sickness going around the teachers so for health!
- For the mudslide in our neighbor country Guatemala.
- For me to fully embrace where I am and what I am supposed to do. I seem to be a little bit lost.
- That my kids would understand that life is not fair and not everyone needs the same amount of encouraging as others. If you are a teacher or have more than one child, you will know what I am talking about.
- That we would all start to have more good days at school then bad days.
- I was told this week that my class is the school’s one “screw up” class. And this week more than ever before the Lord has shown me the huge gaps between all of my students academically. I need the Lord to provide and come through for my kids. At least 10 out of the 17 of my kids absolutely positively need a tutor, and I don’t have that kind of time.
- I have a child in my class who has a tendency to give up trying to get me to understand what he is saying in English (this is his first year in our school, so his English is not the greatest). This week he got frustrated and I told him to come back to my desk after he tried to walk away. I put my arm on his shoulder and I said, “I know it is hard, and I know it is frustrating. But you cannot just give up. I will never give up trying to help you, so you have to promise not to give up on me and yourself.” Needless to say, he sat down on the stool beside my chair and just started weeping. So just prayers for him.